Refelctive Thinking 2

Week two, and I’m still alive and sane (laughing and shaking my head) – the most frustrating part of last week was the constant feelings of confusion. Having bits and pieces of activities and assignments located in several different places, and presented at different times is insane. Being correctly identified during the four lenses session as having a gold temperament – organized chaos drives me crazy. I recognize that the course was purposefully designed to be confusing, causing the students to have to prioritize, and create their own system of organization, but this is hard enough solo, when you throw fifteen other personalities and attitudes in the mix, all reading and interpreting instructions in a different way, and thinking their way is the best way, it can seem virtually impossible. These feelings sparked a déjà vu moment, in which I briefly flashed back to basic training – it began with the same type of overwhelming feel. The difference is this time around, I’m a little more prepared - after CDCs, and deployments, last minute TDYs, and unit mandatory fun days, I guess I’ve accepted the need to constantly change and adjust as being inevitable – plus I promised myself that I would take full advantage of this experience, embrace the wingman/team concept even if it killed me (laughing).

In my career field or I guess I should say the position I’m currently sitting, even though we function as a watch, rarely is it necessary to operate in groups to accomplish the mission. I guess I have forgotten what it is like to have to contend with so many personalities, and that it requires a constant effort to overcome your own personal bias and values to operate in a team centric environment and the Air Force in general – but even more than that - most importantly it take self-evaluation and recognizing when your values,