Facebook Satirical Essay

One of the most popular social networking site, Facebook, is literally a virtual world. Without the empowerment of Facebook, children would use their “free time” to do useless things like exercise and God forbid, go outside. Without Facebook, an average high schooler has an actual chance of being accepted into a University of their choice. But fear not, the righteous creation of Facebook was created by Harvard students in order to repel students from going to Harvard.

Let’s face it, Facebook connects us. It helps us know what our friends are doing at every hour, minute, and second of the day. It helps crazy girlfriends stalk their boyfriends to make sure they are not talking to any girls. It assists us single girls in hopelessly knowing if the guy we are crushing on’s relationship status is “single” or “in a relationship.. Facebook also defines us. Our profile page resembles our identity. Our pictures are pictures of what we want people to perceive us as. Our statuses are made just so we can receive “likes”. How many likes we get is like how many high fives we get in real life. The notification that shows you have more than five likes is an actual notification that your fellow peers socially accept you. Also, I myself have about a running total of 608 friends on Facebook, but has had full actual conversations with about only 50. The competition for having “friends” on facebook is like an intense basketball competition. The majority of our “friends” aren’t really our friends at all.

As much as we would like to deny it, Facebook is a highly addictive drug with never ending side effects. I cannot even count how many times I have tried deactivating the devil that is called Facebook. I will one day have a set goal that involves focusing on school and having no interactions with Facebook. This plan never works. I always find myself the less than 24 hours later craving this tool and reactivating my Facebook. I am not the only

...