Kik Consulting Case

Kik Consulting Case

Adam Leader

Stephen Kingston

Lab: B25

160628680

Pearson Critique

Pearson Tutor Services Response Form

Your tutor has written overview comments about your essay in the form below. Your tutor has also embedded comments [in bold and in brackets] throughout your essay. Thank you for choosing Pearson Tutor Services' Online Writing Center to help you improve your writing!

*Writing Strength: 

Hi, Adam! I'm Rain L., and I'll be your writing tutor for your business report. Let me begin by commending you for having a complete implementation plan:

The immediate action plan (1 week) is to design the bot and the layout to maximize simplicity and ease of use for consumers. … The short term plan (2-12 weeks) is contacting local educational institutions to see if they would be interested in implementing a bot within the student community. … For the long term (3 months – 4 years) we will create a feedback system to see how valuable students are finding the bot and what necessary changes need to be implemented in order to create maximum value for consumers. ...

This ensures that you have a system in place to potentially guide the company not just for when it starts out but also for when it needs to find stability and seeks to expand the bot's functions. Nice!

Introduction:

First, your report does not present the underlying problem of Kik that give rise to the need of the development of a new chatbot. Instead you wrote this:

Kik’s major issue is determining how to expand the use of chatbots in a way that adds value to both consumers and produces alike.

This is just Kik's immediate problem. However, the underlying problem that justifies the need for a new bot is unclear. What is the issue or problem that Kik is having? What is the goal of Kik? What is the underlying problem? Introduce the problem and goal of Kik first before presenting your recommendation.

Organization:

Next, you can improve some paragraphs in your report by breaking them down into shorter paragraphs, Adam. Sometimes, long paragraphs tend to discuss several points which may divert the attention of the readers from the point you want to make. In academic writing, paragraphs are usually composed of five to ten sentences.

However, consider your risks and contingency plans paragraph, which is composed of more than ten sentences.

To improve this, consider looking for effective paragraph breaks in which you can give the readers a “pause” before continuing with the next point of discussion. By doing so, you can set the focus of the readers in understanding one idea first before moving on to the next one. At which point in this paragraph can you place a pause or break? In particular, where did you start discussing a different risk? You can start a new paragraph at it. This will help your readers keep up with your discussions.

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